Being too sensitive

[carebearcarrie]

I just turned 20 and I've come to the realization that I am too sensitive. Any little comment or remark someone makes towards me I take to heart. I will dwell on small things for days at a time. If someone posts on Facebook, makes a comment indirectly towards someone I aromatically believe its about me and constantly think about it, wondering, questioning, etc. recently at work there is a 17 year old girl who just became a mom and we have had out differences with each other. We both like things a certain way. She works day shift and I work nights. She finally confronted me about the way I have been feeling towards her and she told me I'm uptight. I then asked my boyfriend if he agreed- and he said he did to a point but believes its my ultra shyness that makes me seem that way. All this and more has just really been making me think. I really do think I'm too sensitive. I have a extreme low self esteem. And I'm trying to work on that. But can anyone help me as to how I can change this? Or help me?

 

[thunder92]

I just turned 20 and I've come to the realization that I am too sensitive. Any little comment or remark someone makes towards me I take to heart. I will dwell on small things for days at a time. If someone posts on Facebook, makes a comment indirectly towards someone I aromatically believe its about me and constantly think about it, wondering, questioning, etc. recently at work there is a 17 year old girl who just became a mom and we have had out differences with each other. We both like things a certain way. She works day shift and I work nights. She finally confronted me about the way I have been feeling towards her and she told me I'm uptight. I then asked my boyfriend if he agreed- and he said he did to a point but believes its my ultra shyness that makes me seem that way. All this and more has just really been making me think. I really do think I'm too sensitive. I have a extreme low self esteem. And I'm trying to work on that. But can anyone help me as to how I can change this? Or help me?

You cant and you shouldnt. No matter how you act, there will be people who dont like you. Do not change yourself because of what people think. If you did, you would be changing yourself everyday and thats not right. You are at work to work, not to socialize. Is it nice to be liked at work? Of course, but at the end of the day do your job well and go home.

 

[smilesalot2day]

Please don't change who you are because we all are special and unique.

 

[Carrieflattsfan]

Aww, I'm sorry. It's really rough to be shy sometimes; I know I wish I could change that, too. One thing I've discovered over the past few years is that it's impossible to change someone's personality; if you're shy, it's not something that can really be helped, and it isn't something you should blame yourself for. It's just how you are.

You can't change who you are, but acceptance will take time, too. No one can really tell you how to be happy with yourself or your life, you just gotta do what you think is right.

You could try talking to your boyfriend, friends or family to see if they have any suggestions for you. Sometimes it helps to know how other people perceive you, especially if it's someone you trust.

My best advice, though, would be to do what makes you happy; people will accept you if you accept who you are. It may take some time to figure out what truly makes you happy, and if you can or cannot make any changes, but it'll happen. If you know who you are and what you want, you'll find people who accept you for who you are.

 

[bearball49]

It may not be the fact that you are shy. I am pretty outgoing, but really am oversensitive. It can leave you vulnerable as people notice it and realize how easy it is to hurt you. I really feel things a lot....anger, hurt. I am someone who also cries easily hurt or mad. It becomes pretty apparant that something is bothering me. In 63 years, I have never found a way to change it. I think you just need to deal with it and recognise it is partof who you are. If being oversensitive has you making any unkind comments, just try to remember that you might have to work a little harder than some at filtering what you say. The biggest issue I have with being oversensitive is that I embarass myself with crying too easily, it is who I am. Good luck to you.I have dealt with it pretty sucessfully. Knowing you are oversensitive is half the battle.

 

[CarrieFan928]

I think people are right by saying "Don't change yourself for others" but don't interpret it as "Don't work on your self-esteem" since a lot of people usually get those kinds of messages mixed up. I am shy too and had low self-esteem before. Shyness will never go away but you can become more comfortable with those you want to have a relationship with. The way I overcame my self-esteem problem is by realizing that I was done with letting others control me. I am currently a senior in high school and the fact that there's so much I want to do while I'm in high school has changed my perceptive of life. You just have to keep working on your fears until it clicks with you one day that there's nothing to worry about. I really hope you find comfort with who you are and at least you have already acknowledged the problem and are willing to fix it.

 

[Daraebe]

You can try writing in a journal if you do not already. Express whatever you were feeling that day about anything but always finish it off with something positive. Each day try including more positive things in the journal entry. You can't help it if you are shy, that is just the way you are but you can adjust how you feel. My oldest son wears his emotions on his sleeves sorta speak and I gave him a journal and he expresses his feelings through that instead of allowing it to fester or make him sad.

 

[HuiZ]

It's tough being easily hurt or sensitive to what other people say or think about you. I'm pretty talkative, but I'm very sensitive like you too. I tend to notice people's reactions to my words or actions a little too much and I would get upset with myself for a long time if I think that others are feeling negatively about me. It is very emotionally draining to feel that all the time so I have been slowly learning to let go and accept that I can't please everyone, and I don't need to as well. It is a self-esteem problem for me as well, but I'm learning to just be myself. Whatever others think about me is none of my business, because that's just what they think, not who I really am.

I'm not sure where you stand in terms of religion, but for me, the thoughts that help me the most are to surrender everything (my worries, my fears, my relationship with others etc) to God, and in Carrie's words, let Him take the wheel. He loves me just as I am, no matter how flawed I am.