Depressed..Hate My Life...Need Severe Help...

[kewlie78189]

Hello Carrie Fans,

I figured I would start a new thread because its been a long time and lots of new problems have come up.

I will start from the beginning. I am currently 20 years old...don't have a job right now as I am off on "Medical Leave". When I was younger I had to deal with a father who verbally and physically abused me. When I was 14 I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder and from then on I have never been the same. I am currently seeing some counsellors and trying to get my life back on track but its not working. I keep getting bad news after bad news...my newest one is that my drivers license is now suspended for a month for a past speeding ticket...i am even more stuck than I was before. I feel that I am severely depressed. I sit at home most of the time. Try to keep myself busy but I find I am not interested in doing very much. I have no one to really talk to. Most of my friends are away at school. So I usually sit at home and all I do is think about how terrible my life is. I have tried to get out and do things but I don't enjoy much. I am constantly bored and I need people to talk to. I feel so alone and scared and depressed. I am at the point now where I can't continue this way anymore. I need help. I need people talk to. I am so bored and its just making me worse. Now that I have no car to drive for a month I have no way of getting anywhere either. Please Carrie fans I am begging for some help. Any suggestions or kind words or anything would help me right now.

 

[broker03]

Sorry to hear about everything but how about throwing your earphones on, blast some carrie, pull out the running shoes and go for a nice long brisk walk. This will get your blood flowing.

 

[martha]

^ Yeah, go for a walk every day. The sunlight helps SO much. I was literally in the same place about a year and a half ago before my boyfriend came along. My mom used to tell me to just go outside and take a 15 minute walk when the weather was nice but I ignored her, and I ended up not being sufficient in Vitamin D, so much so I had to be on prescription Vitamin D for a couple months. It may be har d at first but once you start going outside it's the perfect start to try and figure everything out.

You just have to tackle one thing at a time. If you try to figure out everything at one time, it's going to be hell and you'll be SO overwhelmed. Tackle the small stuff, get it out of the way, then move on. Once you know you can do it, and once you've gotten started, it all falls into place. I promise.

And I obviously don't know your insurance situation....but medication DOES help. I was on Cylexa (sp?) for about six to nine months and it REALLY helped. Even something low-dose, I think I was on the lowest dose they give. It was just an anti-anxiety medication, nothing hugely for depression, but holy hell did it help get me out of that rut. It helped me sleep (I wasn't....like at all, I'd be up all night and sleep all day, which made everything worse) and it stabilized my mood enough for me to look at things a little differently and get over everything.

And now I'm working, living in my own apartment with my boyfriend, we have a great relationship, and even though I'm completely in debt and there's a LOT I still have to deal with, I've started to catch up and I'm in SUCH a better mood in general, everyone I know has noticed a difference. It's the little things that help the most when you're that low, and it can be hard as hell but once you start, it gets easier.

It gets better. I promise!
PLUS Carrie's new album is coming out in just over a month. Which makes everything better.

 

[supercarriefan]

I'll be keeping you in my thoughts, Jenna. Depression is a rough thing to overcome. I've been there myself a few times.
Think of little steps that you can make to improve your mood and situation. Even the smallest little thing can make a huge difference. As others said, going for a walk is great. It'll help you get out of the house, plus you are doing something good for your whole being. Are there any volunteer opportunities in your area that you can be involved with? Sometimes helping others can help lift your spirits.
You said you are seeing counsellors, but have you been to your doctor to talk about the way you're feeling? As Kati suggested, maybe medication is needed for you right now. I know it's not an ideal thing, but it may be what you need to give you that extra little support until things turn around. There is no shame in asking for help in whatever way you need.

I, too, have been through some really tough stuff in life, and it can be so overwhelming at times. Keep talking it out with your counsellors. Be honest with them about what is happening with you...lay it all out. Sometimes really letting someone know how you feel about things can help a lot. Be kind to yourself. Make sure you are getting enough sleep and getting lots of good food to fuel your body.
You seem like an awesome person, Jenna! I hope you can get things settled and get on with all the great things life will bring your way .
If you ever want to talk or just need a little positive word, please feel free to send me a message.

 

[epicamends]

I agree with what others have said! I'm not sure I can add much else, other than we're all here for you. Stay strong.

If there's a hobby you've always wanted to try, now might be a good time for that. I've found myself in a creative rut for several months now, but I recently started learning guitar and I've found it has really inspired my creativity, which puts me in such a better mood. Find out what will work for you.

 

[Carrieflattsfan]

Jenna,

I'm sorry to hear you're going through a rough time right now. It's important for everyone to take care of themselves, and know that your health and happiness should be the most important thing. It helps to take time out of your day to do something just for you- take a walk, listen to music, talk with a friend, etc.

I have gone through really bad anxiety myself...so much so that I was having trouble sleeping and even breathing normally. I am on medication now, and it really does help. Sometimes our body is trying to tell us that we're overwhelmed and need a break when things like this happen.

Have you tried calling your friends to tell them you could use some support? I've been through that myself, and believe it or not sometimes people have no idea what you're going through unless you tell them. Even if you don't want to let them know the full extent of what's going on, it helps to have someone there who can take your mind off things and make you laugh. Laughter is great medicine. Some people find relief in writing their problems down just to get everything out there; once you figure out what you can do to improve your situation you'll probably feel less overwhelmed.

Prayer is always great therapy for me and it's something that I find comfort in when people can't understand what I'm feeling. Hang in there and please know we're here for you if you need us.

Get outside, get some fresh air, and take everything one step at a time. Keep your head up and I hope everything will work out for you. You're young...even if it may not feel like it right now, you have so much potential and you just gotta find what makes you happy and what you want to accomplish. Best of luck, and please keep us updated!

Also, feel free to message me if you ever want to talk.

 

[jaylee50]

Hi Jenna, I read all the replies and love much of the advice given. My thoughts duplicate much of what others said, like getting out of the house everyday, taking a walk, volunteering, listening to music. One thought I'd like to add is to read inspirational quotes, or inspirational books. They don't have to be religious books, just uplifting. In fact, while you take a walk, listen to a book on your iPod while you walk to the destination to volunteer your services. I wish you the best. As the others have said, feel free to contact me if you choose to. I will be watching this thread to keep up with your progress. I need to lose a few pounds, maybe we can motivate each other to walk daily and compare our notes. Let me know. Best of luck Jenna.

 

[carrieforV]

hang in thier it will get better, remember god loves you, and so many people do aslo hope you get better soon!

 

[_luvqry]

I hope you get better but sometimes you don't need only "kind" words you need "true" words.

I'm sorry if I'm being too hard on you but even if you don't have a car anymore I believe it doesn't mean you can't go out. I'm not sure where you live but I believe there's subway, bus and you have your legs... It's great to know you are seeing some counsellors and I think you will only feel better when you talk to people who has the same trauma as you because they can understand you. But you need to change your attitude. It's all about you whether you want to see the half glass empty or the half glass full. If you start something just thinking "this won't work" well... it won't. So I understand depression is serious and you need help but more than anything else you need to help yourself and start changing your attitude... please don't find excuses in everything you do for failing, change your attitude and find good ways of making them work out.

 

[oldyfan]

Jenna,

When you are depressed it starts to dictate how you live. The people who have responded have given you excellent advice, but it is easier to read than actual take the steps needed. My only addition would be to encourage you to start (even little steps) doing something to move forward. When you're so depressed it is even difficult to get dressed...so each day move forward just a little. It becomes easier each time. Medication can help, please go seek some professional help. You will be in my thoughts and prayers, at 20 you have some wonderful things/times ahead that it is hard for you to see right now. Believe me it will get better.

And, we have Carrie music to look forward to...calling radio stations, voting, yes.com to name a few.

 

[pklongbeach]

I prescribe two JEsus, take the Wheels, one So Small and a heaping amount of How Great Thou Art.
Sometimes we must get out of our selves to realize that the things we are struggling with are So Small compared to others.
Helping others is what we are called to do as evolved species.
IF you find ways to get out of your own head you will come to know that wee small voice that says "Be Still, and Know that I am God".

 

[pklongbeach]

And please know that we love you here so much.
Most here don't remember a time when you were not here.
You are part of us and we are part of you.

 

[Lstname89]

I'm new here, but I also suffer from anxiety and depression. I'm in between jobs (probably why I'm on here a lot lol). I agree with everyone else exercise will help A LOT!!!! I used to hate running a couple years ago and I was overweight, and not healthy at all! I was only 20. I'm now 22 and I'm in the best shape of my life, I run about 15-16 miles a week and its such a rush!! Boost your energy, metabolism, MOOD, etc.. Makes me feel like I can take on the world! Start yourself off slow, I started with maybe a half mile walk everyday. I'm not sure where you're at when it comes to fitness level, you will have to be the judge on how intense you workout. Make sure you eat stuff thats somewhat healthy, and get plenty of rest! I know sleep can be hard to come by when you're depressed, but you will end up sleeping anyway because YOU WILL wear yourself out! Do you have a dog? Maybe he could be your walking partner? I know my dog is great company especially when I'm down. Well I don't know you, but I know I believe EVERYONE serves a purpose here on this Earth! I'm a compassionate guy, and you mean something to me just for being human. Things are hard right now, I'm sure, but just set some sort of goal and get at it! Keep your chin up and smile! God Bless you!

 

[robinannhunt]

Running is not about speed as much as distance. Speed will happen. I am a walk/run runner. Jeff Galloway's books are a good place to start reading up on walk/running. His book entitled Marathon (copywrite 2000) is excelent reading. The best advice is to do something.

 

[Lstname89]

One thing I should have mentioned is if you choose to walk/jog/run, please don't get hung up on how many miles or minutes or pace or anything like that. Just enjoy doing something good for yourself, its not about anything else. Make it fun, and USE AN IPOD/mp3 player. Make a playlist of some of your favorite upbeat songs to keep you going! I have quite a few of Carrie's songs in my workout playlist. Sometimes for a boost I envision myself playing lead guitar for LN at a concert in a big city, lol. Don't exactly know why, but if I do that I can usually get an extra mile in, haha!

 

[cole]

Jenna, you can talk to me anytime, girl.

 

[carrietakethewheel]

Awww, Jenna,

So sorry to hear you're going through this. I've been through that same road myself, and even thought about suicide. Sad, I know. But, if you ever have suicidal thoughts, remember this: Once you commit suicide, you'll never be able to regret it. Medication does help for most people (I've taken Pexeva for a while, but I don't take it now since I'm getting better by myself). Depression does hurt, yes, but there's always a way out of it (and not by killing yourself!).

Exercise is definitely a plus. I exercise whenever I can, but it ALWAYS puts me in a better mood. Also, try discovering new music. I was in a pretty bad place before discovering Aerosmith. After discovering them, I've DEFINITELY changed. Their music has helped me so much! Talking to people always makes me feel better, too. Even if it's just a 30 second conversation, it always makes my day.

I was in a horrible, negative situation last fall. That whole [college] semester was damnation. The English 101 class wasn't going very well, my Grandma passed away that September, job mishap at a movie theater.... Man, it was heart-wrenching. After that semester was over, HUGE RELIEF.

You just got to keep going with life. Things will always change. I was in a bad position where after a little mishap with a job setup. Now, I've been filling in applications and being called A LOT for interviews.

Just keep your head up, and if you believe in God, always ask Him for guidance. He will always be there for you!

EDIT: Forgot to mention.... My Mom and I got a kitten last May in addition to Lady (our current cat). He's the greatest little guy! He always, ALWAYS makes me happy whenever I'm feeling down! He's such an influence in my life! <3

Sending thoughts and good vibes your way!

 

[Carrie_Rocks_The_House]

You will be fine Jenna. Just think positive and listen to Carrie as much as you and her song will get you through your problems. I'm in the same boat as you Jenna because I found out last year after I graduated from college that they won't be awarding my Bachelor's Degree because my core gpa is too low and I have to retake some classes to raise is back to 2.0. I'm also depressed because I can't I tried applying for jobs in my major and they won't hire and they are not even hiring for part time jobs right. Also pray every day because prayer will get you through the hard times always

 

[kewlie78189]

thanks for all the replies guys. It really means a lot to me. As of right now things have not gotten any better. I have tried a lot of your suggestions like going for a walk and things like that but nothing seems to be working. I try really hard to think positive and be happy but I'm just not. I am at the point where I am hurting so bad. I can't take it anymore. I have even looked into joining a group or something but in my area there is not much in the way of that. I am just so sick of sitting day in and day out with nothing to do and then I just get sad and can't get rid of that feeling. I really need a solution to that but I am so scared that there just isn't one.

 

[cassie2]

Jenna, please don't think that there isn't options. What about doing volunteer work? Surely there are many many opportunities available in your area. Local hospitals, shelters, food pantry's, nursing homes, libraries all are good choices to look into. Pick one or two that sound especially interesting to you and make a few calls. Do you belong to a particular Church in your area? If so that is another excellent way to become involved with voulunteering.

Please know that I have added you to my daily prayer list. I can tell that things are not going how you would like them to be at this moment, but life is always full of twist and turns, ups and downs. That is just the facts. Be gentle with yourself Jenna, google a site that has positive self affirmations. I know that can and will be a huge tool for you.

Joining a support group would be a wonderful idea as well. Go online and check what groups your local hospital is offering. Perhaps you will find the perfect fit.

Here is a link to a wonderful poem that has helped me personally more times then I could tell you. I hope that it will be helpful to you as well!

Desiderata

My wish for you Jenna is for you to find peace, love and purpose. God bless you Jenna!